B gave me the title to this entry. It wasn't as contrived as saying 'I'm writing a blog entry about blah, what should I call it?'. In fact the quote is from about a year ago when we were talking assignments and vowing to stop procrastinating about doing them. There were reams of to do's in my messy head and I started to list them verbally to make my head stop whirring and the panic in the pit of my stomach stop. There was a reference to lists being good and then the words of wisdom from my fellow procrastinator. I know it originally came from someone else but I don't want to know who, B gave it to me.
That assignment still hasn't been done and I'm still procrastinating with regard to it. This entry is on another mental 'to-do' that I neatly get to tick off along with the 15 rows of knitting and the film review. No assignment started though.
The snow went and I'm happier but its still too late for the pipes in my house. I'm not there but the thoughts of the mess I have to clean up and deal with when I go home makes my stomach lurch and my heart quicken and my breath catch. More to put on the mental to-do until I collapse prone on the floor weeping, I'm exhausted from the list that as well as being full of my stuff is full of your stuff too and it makes me so tired and angry at you that I feel i have to do it all alone.
Control- I lost all of mine, washed away in burst pipe floods and tears of hopelessness so to get it back I cut my hair. Hacked with the good scissors, love the noise it makes as it shore all those finger-trap curls away. They fell like suicide jumpers to the floor.......
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